To Lie

What constitutes a true lie?

I know, a seemingly odd and ridiculous question right? I guess the only reason I ask is because, sometimes I feel as if I'm living a lie.

I go to work and do nothing. I look busy because I have to. If I don't, my façade' will fall and the truth, which none wish to recognize, will be seen.

That I do nothing.

I pretend.

I look like that which people want me to appear: busy. But it's such a lie! Sure, perhaps if I work super hard and do a whole bunch of presentations at the high schools I can start to actually do what I'm suppose to do. However, my motivation has been sapped from me.  I have received no recognition for my work, no encouragement to keep doing my best and help and guidance in doing better.

They do nothing.

My supervisor is excellent at giving reprimands and commands but, in encouragement and listening to her employees;

She does nothing.

So perhaps we are all living a lie. We smile, nod our heads, recognize of each other in a purely cognitive essence and keep going about our daily business.  Now, when I say we I do mean those here at work. Although, I do believe in some aspects we are all living a lie. But, that's another whole topic entirely. Here however, I seem to be  plagued with the every day reality that nothing is as it appears. I hear things from one person about another, then from another person about their view on the view expressed by the other… and it just seems to go round and round. Now, I must say I have a definite dislike to gossip and I do not participate. However, here, you don't have to do to much to hear about other happenings that transpire.  Unfortunately, even though I may not spread gossip, hearing affects one all the same.  I look at some people and wonder how they can stand behaving in the way that they do when the people around them dislike their behaviors. But, do people confront? Do they express the need for change? No:

They pretend.

That it's all fine, they don't need change. Even though change is the very essence of life… It drives me crazy!! How can they stand it?! I can barely contain myself. I've come up with various reasons to some how be able to live with such a life but, none of which seem to compensate for the agony it brings. It is so unsettling. The knowledge that the truth isn't in the open, that it is being stuffed into the box called, "Social Acceptability". Oooh, it makes me want to shake myself all over as if to get rid of a bad tickle.  Ok, perhaps that wasn't the best illustration but, it was the only one I could think of to describe the weird shake I do when I think of it.

So, what do I do when things  don't change? When I discover that, as hard as I've tried to see the good in either the situation or the person, the reality is; it's ugly and I can't change it.  What do I do?

I pretend.

I lie.

I look at the situation, at the people around me and, do what we all seem to do best: nod and smile. For, to tell the truth would be a reality that they wouldn't like, much less be able to swallow and digest. Humans don't like to change. Well, we don't like to change things we've been told are negative for others around us. We don't mind having others change. For, isn't it easier for another to change rather then ourselves? But yet, when it comes to confronting another with a change that we see as needing to be changed, an odd phenomenon happens. We start to ignore our need for change in ourselves and others.  By ignoring their behavior we thereby  presume this will take the pressure off of ourselves to change and then, what is this exemplified behavior after such decisions?

Nod and smile.

Yes, you know exactly what I'm talking about. We've all done it. We are creatures of denial and hiding. We hide from each other, we hide from ourselves, we hid from the Truth.  And yes you may:

Nod and smile.

Isn't it so much easier? But then, really? Is it really? True, for some of us, our skills for sensing the undercurrents of those around aren't especially honed. But, we all have a responsibility towards that which is inescapable.  To live in a lie has definite consequences. For starters, we miss that which is the true longing of those we come in contact with.  In one sense as well, we start to miss that which is truly reality in our own hearts. But yet,

What is Truth?

What is a lie?

It would seem pretty obvious to say that, whatever isn't Truth is then a lie. However, I for one have experienced trying to always tell everyone the truth and found quickly that if you plaster truth everywhere it doesn't seem to have much success. And then, we all know the consequences that come from never  telling the truth. Yeah, not to pretty. So, there must be a balance, there has to be! Otherwise, pardon the phrase, we're screwed! But! How do we get there? How do we know what that balance is?

What is an actual lie and just an appropriate omission of Truth?

To be honest?

I don't know yet; I've just been nodding and smiling.